


Little Lost Boy

by Princechonomelon



Category: Free!
Genre: Characters listed will come in the second chapter, Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mentions of dangerous thoughts, Mentions of self-harm, Multi, Please don't read if you are sensitive to these!, Rin/Aiichiro platonic, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, stretch marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 02:05:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17520134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princechonomelon/pseuds/Princechonomelon
Summary: Aiichiro never used to be like this. He used to be the right weight, he didn’t have those ugly stretch marks tessellated on his legs and hips. He used to have small, slender fingers with beautiful nail beds. He used to have slim thighs and strong calves that he worked till he couldn’t walk. He had strong biceps, that exhibit themselves and earned praise. He had broad shoulders, and a predominant collar bone. He used to have soft hair that would have the best grooming. He used to have a flat stomach, which he was aiming to train for abs. He had a nice body. One he liked. But now, it was all different.





	Little Lost Boy

Aiichiro never used to be like this. He used to be the right weight, he didn’t have those ugly stretch marks tessellated on his legs and hips. He used to have small, slender fingers with beautiful nail beds. He used to have slim thighs and strong calves that he worked till he couldn’t walk. He had strong biceps, that exhibit themselves and earned praise. He had broad shoulders, and a predominant collar bone. He used to have soft hair that would have the best grooming. He used to have a flat stomach, which he was aiming to train for abs. He had a nice body. One he liked. But now, it was all different.

His stomach wasn’t flat any more, and his stretch marks positioned themselves all across every part of his body. His fingers weren’t slim anymore, he wasn’t delicate and couldn’t even do the smallest of tasks without messing them up with his fat fingers. His thighs didn’t have a gap anymore, and his calves didn’t have any strength, they were just extra fat on the back of his leg. His arms were covered in deep purple lichtenberg figures, which filled him with disgust every time they caught his eye. He didn’t even bother to stand with posture anymore, to which his shoulders slumped and were no longer conspicuous. His hair wasn’t soft, it was rough. His eyes didn’t have the same gleam as they did before, but he looked empty; as if the old version of himself wasn’t there.

His eyes were undertone with maroon, and his clothes got longer and longer as the days and weeks passed by. He became anti-social, he became aggressive. Nobody cared or seemed to notice. He wanted to go back. But he didn’t want it. He didn’t care about anything. But he cared about it. He wore a swimsuit that covered the top part of his body as well as the bottom to bind the unwanted feelings. He would lay in bed at night and wonder why he was still here, and why he didn’t just leave this all behind.

Rin found out first. He was met with the scene of bloody murder to the poor boys legs, and that was the first person who helped Aiichiro through his struggles. He bandaged up his wounded thighs, with nothing but silence echoing his room. The disinfectant stung his slashes, but it had to be done. Well, he didn’t think so but apparently Rin cared. But he knew he was lying. It was silence before Rin decided to speak up.

‘Why?’ was all he said. But in all honesty, Aii didn’t know why himself. It just happened. He just felt empty pretty much all of the time. Rin was confused though when he heard this. He begged not to know if the bubbly personality was all an act. He didn’t want to know if all of the horrible things he said to Aii actually made him want to do this to himself. He cried that night, with Aiichiro by his side; numbness written on the inside of his eyes.

That next morning, Aiichiro was called in by the captain. He knew Rin had told him, and probably the school principal too. Seijuro didn’t look pleased when he came in, but he didn’t look angry with him. As soon as his eyes met with the captains, horrible, terrible thoughts swum about his mind, thoughts no one could hear. He felt like crying, but he was too numb. He sat in the chair uncomfortably, and quite frankly, he didn't want to be there right now. It felt like one of those really long talks he always gave them before tournaments, inly this time it was about him and no one else. He felt anger rise up the back of his throat as the captain said they were all there for him. He wanted to shout 'No you won't! You won't be there for me! No one cares!' but he didn't. He was too numb to even think or pay attention to what the captain was saying anymore. 

He was immediately flooded with negative thoughts as soon as he finished his conversation and was told to rest. He knew Seijuro didn’t mean any of the nice stuff when he was talking to him. He knew that he thought he was worthless. He knew he was a burden. He stumbled back to his dorm, getting a few worried glances from his classmates. He didn't care though, he just wanted to fall alseep and not wake up. However, that didn't seem like it was going to be happening anytime soon. He opened the door to his dorm to be met with a very angry Rin rotting through the poor boys desk, as if he was trying to find something. When Rin heard the door open, he immeditley turned around and set his eyes on the silver haired boy in the doorway. 

He looked so lost, like a barrier had been put in between the two roommates. It seemed like he was handcuffed to the guilt and despair that he had been carrying, and that nobody had the key to let him go. Soon the handcuffs will rub and wound his skin, and maybe, just maybe, he might not be anymore. It seemed like an eternity until Aii walked over and pushed passed Rin. Rin looked surprised to start, but then started to become worried as Aii kept on rooting through the drawers of his desk, as if he needed to find something; like his life depended on it. Aiichiro didn't even care what Rin thought at this point anymore because He only had one thought on his mind right now, ‘I either figure this out or I end my life.’ 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers! If you liked this, feel free to leave Kudos or a comment, they are much appreciated! I know I tortured this poor boy, but I swear it will get better. It always does.


End file.
